On Craigslist today, I posted an advertisement for a Cleaner at the office. Scanning the main directory upon completing my mission, I saw the personals. Curious, I entered Women Seeking Men to see what clever ads were being posted.
The ad that truly caught my attention was titled, 'why is no one looking for anything serious?" Here is what it said:
QUOTE: please, help!
i don't understand why every guy i meet is "not looking for anything serious". but. they'll have sex and hang out with me for now, or something?
I DON'T GET IT. it must be me, right? i must be giving off "not serious" vibes? it can't be that every man in the city is just looking for flings. can it?
it's not like i am ugly, or stupid, or have a shitty job or something. you know, i have goals, i have a five year plan (sort of ... ) i'm not a loser.
so what is the problem here?!? is it them, or is it me?
SO FRUSTRATED.
To which some Moron replied (note the capital M):
QUOTE: its because most women these days slept with so many men that the guys just dont want to be with you. basically, men want a classy women, not a girl who's had her way around, get what i mean? dont fucking sell yourself short. women are suppose to be the more disciplined and reserved, yet they fuckin act as horny as men these days. men want class, not a skank.
thats all they want from you because they know they can get it from 'you'. should have made better choices from the start and not slept with every guy who've dated. thats all i can say.
Not one to leave stupidity unchecked, I had to bring some balance back to the subject and posted my retort.
QUOTE: As a man, I found the following response posted by a male viewer of the thread quite irresponsible, derogatory, and disturbing. Quite frankly, this is an archaic load of shite...
Men and women alike have healthy sexual appetites. To say that a woman is "supposed to be the more disciplined and reserved" of the species is a complete lack of accountability and indicative that the man who posted it is likely to sleep around. I'm so not thrilled with the edge in that post.
Let's face it - It's just hard these days. People everywhere are coming to relationships with baggage, stories, experiences, and not all of them good. We're all scampering through the days and weeks making a living and creating a life with little time to squeeze social activities in. It's difficult to "Live Up To" any ideals or expectations, and let's face it: Quite often, it's the expectations we put upon the relationship and the other person that quite often sabotages it before it goes anywhere.
keeping it light and non-serious allows it to grow without all that burden. I think if you want to succeed today, this take-it-as-it-comes approach can be quite effective - moreso if you at least know what it is that you do want and don't want. The rest of it, let it build slowly and make allowance for the guffaws that you and I are equally prone to making.
If there is too much emphasis on a "Relationship" at the start, who would want to get serious?
So go easy, go out, date, have fun, get to know each other. Isn't there enough pressure in life? Let the relationship grow into something, or let it grow apart. And so what about sex?
Grown adults have sexual needs, emotional needs, physical needs, and mental needs. Is a woman any less able or deserving to satisfy these needs than a man? Are men less culpable sleeping around just because they are men? NO! I do demand equality around our sexual behaviour. And I equally appreciate a woman confident in her sexuality, and ability to make choices from a healthy foundation of self-respect.
It's not whether you have sex or not. It's how you have sex. Respect for self and others is all that is needed. Men!
